On a hot spring day
I wish for two things 
A fan 
A 
Perfect
Apple 

A fan
Not hard to come by 
Alas 
A 
Perfect 
Apple
Is near impossible 

Each apple has something different to offer

Red Delicious 
To put it simply is “An Atrocity”

Golden Delicious 
Is not delicious 

Gala
Eating one makes the numbness inside of me peak

Granny Smith
Consistently crisp but has skin like old leather

Fuji
Sweet, with an extra long shelf life (take that information as you please)

Pink Lady
The most beautiful exterior, as for the interior, it’s above par 

Cosmic Crisps
At their peak, they are exquisite, but that peak ended three years ago, so for now, they’re 
Sub-par

Honey Crisp 
My favorite 
Almost always reliable 
And most importantly 
CRISP

A good apple is many things
Tart
Semi-sweet 
Thin-skinned 
But in no world can a good apple be Soft 

The thought of teeth sinking into a less-than-rock-hard apple makes me want to 
Scream
Cry
Punch
Snarl

For me, the firmness of an apple is so important that a wrong answer to the question below may result in the end of a relationship. 

Question: Would you rather have a soft apple with the most extraordinary flavor or a perfectly firm apple with little to no flavor? 

There is an obvious answer to this question; alas, for me, a perfect hot spring day can only be ruined by a broken fan blade or a mushy apple.