honeydew melatonin
dribbles
drops
down yours or mine
unhinged jaw

traces of polygons in my bones

bones that replicated shapes
on my frenzied wallpaper,
mother always said i was a free spirit

holy water in my blood
residue of unicorn sugar cookies on my fingers

my sticky fingers reaching out to
grip the
roundness of
“one fish two fish”
bedtime stories overflowing from
yours or mine
unhinged jaw

bedtime stories replaced with a sharp
“go to sleep”
hum of white noise machine
and melatonin i take
because mother said it will ease the pain

let me fix it
i have my hammer and nails in
the red toy tool box

you gave to me when tissue laced with calcium and cells
threaded through the white silk of my bones
held strong

mother said not to waste sugar in the unicorn sugar cookies
one cup is enough

but I gave two cups
for your honeydew melon we ate on the weekends
on the red curb
(there was no ticket given, caution let loose in the wind)

dear childhood friend,
maybe my free spirit deterred you
led us astray from the rules of life

scientifically melatonin is for sleeping, not heartaches
and my heart does ache for when
we ate honeydew melon
and you read me bedtime stories

unhinged jaw
because i can no longer smile