Nice girl you’ve got there! What’s your nice little girl's name? 

Nancy? Nancy is a nice name, a name nicely suited to niceness one might say. And she must have a nice mother, right? You sure look like one.

I gotta know, what do you say to negate all the nastiness some girls seem to have? I mean, no break from the nastiness nowadays! Now listen here, you keep on showing her: no naggin’, no nosiness, you know. Keep ‘em naive if you hafta! 

No, come on now! I didn’t mean it like that. All you gotta tell her is that niceness is the number one priority. Number one, that’s right. 

Well, but that’s gotta be number one. Anyhow, what do nice girls do these days? Knitting? I bet she knits some nice knots. 

Now that’s . . . hm, not quite so appropriate for a nice girl. Numbers, are you sure? You know, maybe something more like nursing. Now a nurse like that, she would listen when I say I want the numbing stuff, ya know? Hah! 

I don’t know, I think that would be neat. Oh but she hasn’t had her nuptials has she? Nursing’s got to wait. 

No really, any man would love to have such a nice girl for a wife. I might even know the perfect one, do you happen to know . . . what’s his name? Well, now I come to think of it, I recently got divorced! 

Hey now, not even a goodbye?