The lunch tasted bland, but there were traces of heat in the food — as much as an old microwave could power. The only issue was that my forks kept breaking, so I kept having to get up and get another one. I had quite a few dismembered plastic fork prongs to pick out of the bread.
The sound of footsteps came from outside. The door opened with the UPS man knocking on the door. He politely stood outside.
“Package . . . for . . . last name Silver?” He looked warm; his face was red, his hair was in wet strands on his head, and sweat was running down his temple. He stood with an awkward smile on his face a step behind my open door.
“Delivery?” he asked. I stared longer, trying to decipher his secrets and the way his brain operated. Nothing. I slowly nodded. He leaned over to set the small cardboard box against the wall next to the door, while continuing to make eye contact with me. He turned swiftly around and missed a step, but found his footing and speed walked to his UPS van.
Of course, I already knew the contents of the cardboard box. I put my ear against the side of the box and listened to rattling and humming and whirring.
I stepped outside into the dry heat. I put the cardboard box between my elbow and my abdomen, making sure not to crush the box. I walked around the house and into the back yard. I turned away from the house and proceeded into the desert behind my house, barefoot. The warm sand felt good under my feet.
It took many miles of walking and many hours of the day, and the color of the sky had changed, but I was here. I could no longer walk or hold myself upright, so I laid down on the desert ground.
The clouds faded in and out of my consciousness as I looked up at them. The stars were more noticeable because they were twinkling in a variety of colors. They resembled rainbow sprinkles on a donut. My mind brimmed with synesthesia, and hallucinations became permanent. I could feel the weight of the galaxy smiling and moving. I could feel the cold sand under me. The cardboard box I carried with me all this way began to react to the many fluctuations of the universe, and whistled much more audibly than before. The white light seeped from the cracks in the box and I turned on my side so as not to be blinded. However, the light was too powerful, and I lost sight, and the whistling was too loud so I lost hearing. Tears streamed down my face and I crumpled into a ball, and returned to the sand until I was buried.
Obviously, I was aware that the sum of eternity and completeness contained in a small cardboard box could be somewhat . . . explosive. What I wasn’t aware of was how punishing my own undying nature is. The sand remained on top of me until I was strong enough to rebirth myself into a new form. But the labyrinth of deep time is long and winding, and all of the gateways to a new life were hidden. I had to use the back door.
*****
Gentle blue light flooded the otherwise dim concrete halls. I found myself standing, staring straight up at the skylight that emitted the light. Droplets of rain hit the skylight very gently, as if they were trying to not be heard. But it was the only thing I could hear, besides the distant shuffling of feet reverberating throughout the empty corridors of this structure. I advanced towards the origin of the noises until I made my way into a large room. There were many people in this room, all in purple suits. They were clumped in groups, but none were talking. I made my way over to one of these individuals.
“You’re in heaven,” the individual said. The rain grew louder.
“I’m not in heaven,” I replied. “Heaven doesn’t exist.”
“This is heaven, I am God,” the individual said.
“What makes you God, instead of me?”
“I created everything.”
“I created you.”
“ . . . ”
I saw no sign of intelligence or logic within this individual, so I shook his hand and walked right past him, walking out of the room the same way I got in. I wandered the halls until I located the exit door. Above the door a sign read, “WARNING: NOTHING, NOWHERE . . . USE FORCE”. I got a running start, and rammed shoulder-first into the door.
I arrived on an endless strip of beach, with endless oceans in both directions. Seagulls flew above my head and sang happily. All that was left to do was sit and watch the waves crash over one another, forever.
The sound of footsteps came from outside. The door opened with the UPS man knocking on the door. He politely stood outside.
“Package . . . for . . . last name Silver?” He looked warm; his face was red, his hair was in wet strands on his head, and sweat was running down his temple. He stood with an awkward smile on his face a step behind my open door.
“Delivery?” he asked. I stared longer, trying to decipher his secrets and the way his brain operated. Nothing. I slowly nodded. He leaned over to set the small cardboard box against the wall next to the door, while continuing to make eye contact with me. He turned swiftly around and missed a step, but found his footing and speed walked to his UPS van.
Of course, I already knew the contents of the cardboard box. I put my ear against the side of the box and listened to rattling and humming and whirring.
I stepped outside into the dry heat. I put the cardboard box between my elbow and my abdomen, making sure not to crush the box. I walked around the house and into the back yard. I turned away from the house and proceeded into the desert behind my house, barefoot. The warm sand felt good under my feet.
It took many miles of walking and many hours of the day, and the color of the sky had changed, but I was here. I could no longer walk or hold myself upright, so I laid down on the desert ground.
The clouds faded in and out of my consciousness as I looked up at them. The stars were more noticeable because they were twinkling in a variety of colors. They resembled rainbow sprinkles on a donut. My mind brimmed with synesthesia, and hallucinations became permanent. I could feel the weight of the galaxy smiling and moving. I could feel the cold sand under me. The cardboard box I carried with me all this way began to react to the many fluctuations of the universe, and whistled much more audibly than before. The white light seeped from the cracks in the box and I turned on my side so as not to be blinded. However, the light was too powerful, and I lost sight, and the whistling was too loud so I lost hearing. Tears streamed down my face and I crumpled into a ball, and returned to the sand until I was buried.
Obviously, I was aware that the sum of eternity and completeness contained in a small cardboard box could be somewhat . . . explosive. What I wasn’t aware of was how punishing my own undying nature is. The sand remained on top of me until I was strong enough to rebirth myself into a new form. But the labyrinth of deep time is long and winding, and all of the gateways to a new life were hidden. I had to use the back door.
*****
Gentle blue light flooded the otherwise dim concrete halls. I found myself standing, staring straight up at the skylight that emitted the light. Droplets of rain hit the skylight very gently, as if they were trying to not be heard. But it was the only thing I could hear, besides the distant shuffling of feet reverberating throughout the empty corridors of this structure. I advanced towards the origin of the noises until I made my way into a large room. There were many people in this room, all in purple suits. They were clumped in groups, but none were talking. I made my way over to one of these individuals.
“You’re in heaven,” the individual said. The rain grew louder.
“I’m not in heaven,” I replied. “Heaven doesn’t exist.”
“This is heaven, I am God,” the individual said.
“What makes you God, instead of me?”
“I created everything.”
“I created you.”
“ . . . ”
I saw no sign of intelligence or logic within this individual, so I shook his hand and walked right past him, walking out of the room the same way I got in. I wandered the halls until I located the exit door. Above the door a sign read, “WARNING: NOTHING, NOWHERE . . . USE FORCE”. I got a running start, and rammed shoulder-first into the door.
I arrived on an endless strip of beach, with endless oceans in both directions. Seagulls flew above my head and sang happily. All that was left to do was sit and watch the waves crash over one another, forever.